Waiting for Those Words
by Urae
Summary: He wants to hear those words fall from his love's mouth, wants to hear them roll off that bitter tongue that he's so familiar with, wants to hear them cooed in his ear as they mold themselves against one another. ONESHOT


Warning[s]: _Very_ mild lime, yaoi.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Kuroshitsuji. They are the property of Yana Toboso.

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Sebastian's smooth voice rang crisp through the fresh morning air, "Young master, it is time to wake up." Said blue-haired master grumbled softly as the sunlight fell on his face, a pair of mismatched eyes sliding open with much hesitation. Ciel pulled himself into a sitting position, and then swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

"Happy birthday, my Lord." Sebastian was met with a glare, softened by morning drowsiness. The raven-haired man smiled wryly, and poured Ciel his morning tea. As he rambled off the menu for breakfast, Ciel paid no attention and instead found himself lost in his thoughts.

_I'm nineteen years old today... I can't believe that I've actually made it to this age. I thought I'd be dead by now._ He stared out the window in slight wonderment, only roused from the confines of his mind by a gloved hand touching his shoulder.

"My Lord? Are you feeling all right?"

"Fine; just fine. I was only thinking." He paused for a moment, then asked, "What's the schedule for today?"

"You have nothing planned, sir," Sebastian replied, laying the young man's clothes out on the bed next to him. "I shall wait outside." The butler then took his leave, and stood outside the door.

Ciel had, by now, learned how to dress himself properly without any help. He had slowly tried to become more independent, and less like a child that needed taking care of. He pulled on his trousers, button-up shirt and blazer. His nimble fingers pulled the tie into his signature bow, although it was nowhere near as perfect as when Sebastian had tied it. He finished getting dressed, and beckoned his servant back in to help him with one last thing.

Sebastian smiled slightly in amusement as he tied the patch firmly in place, "Even though the young master has become capable of dressing himself, he still can't tie his eyepatch, hm?" Ciel turned to scowl at the older man, who tisked in disappointment and fixed his uneven tie into a perfect bow. "And it seems that he still can't tie a bow properly, either." The blue-haired teen opened his mouth to object, but was cut off by Sebastian.

"Your breakfast will get cold if you don't hurry." He handed Ciel his cane, who accepted it without a word and made his way out of his room, to his small breakfast nook.

Waiting for him were the other four servants of his household – Maylene fidgeted nervously, like she always did in the presence of Sebastian; Bard was smiling his crooked smile with a cigarette held firmly between his lips; Finnian was grinning, his smile practically taking up half of his face; and Tanaka, who was sipping a cup of Japanese tea. Ciel knew this routine and braced himself.

"Happy birthday, Master Ciel!" they all chorused (excluding Tanaka, who stuck with his jolly, "Ho, ho, ho.")

Ciel tried his best to smile, he really did – but it merely looked like a grimace, resulting in Bard pouting, Maylene being on the verge of tears and Finnian following right along with the red-headed maid. Instead, Ciel opted for a soft thank you, which restored their spirits somewhat. Their blue-haired master sat down on the chair that Sebastian had pulled out for him, and slowly started to consume his breakfast. His appetite wasn't very healthy on this particular morning, which worried his staff significantly. They practically dragged Sebastian into the kitchen, and demanded to know if their master was feeling ill.

"He has no physical ailment, but he seems to have a lot on his mind."

"But why would him being overwhelmed affect him so much?"

"To be honest, I haven't the foggiest as to why, Finnian."

When Bard began plotting something to cheer their master up (Maylene and Finnian quickly jumped on the bandwagon), Sebastian interfered.

"I think it would be best to just let him alone; he obviously needs time to think about some things. Just let him be, and he will be fine."

Their agreement meant less work for Sebastian, which cheered the raven-haired butler up considerably. Now, instead of cleaning up the damage that his fellow staff would surely inflict on the mansion during their efforts, he was free to probe the reasons as to why Ciel was acting so melancholic.

Much later that day, Ciel found himself in his study. His eyes scanned the pages of a book fervently, trying to keep his mind off of other matters that tried to consume him.

"Young master?" Sebastian appeared in the doorway, and the younger man looked up.

"What is it? Did something happen?" This, of course, was the natural response when Sebastian sought him out; usually, the mansion was in disrepair in these cases.

"That is what I myself have been wondering, my Lord. You're very detached as of today."

"I.. I just have a lot of things on my mind; that's all." Ciel's eyes flickered up to Sebastian's for a hesitant moment, and then he looked back down at his book. He nearly dropped the tome when he felt Sebastian's gloved hand caress his neck, and his body went rigid. Sebastian leaned over his master's shoulder and sensually touched his hipbone, rubbing the area in a manner that made Ciel look away from him to hide his blush.

"What are the things that are on your mind, My Lord? Would they involve last year?" The demonic butler's breath was hot against Ciel's ear, making the younger man fidget in discomfort.

"S-stop that, Sebastian," Ciel hissed, seizing the other's gloved hand. The butler's free hand slipped under Ciel's chin, tilting his head back so that their eyes met. Those violet and sapphire irises were wide and frantic, the pupils dialated.

"I only came to tell you that dinner is ready, My Lord. Shall we?" Ciel jerked away from the taller man, and quickly rose to his feet, snatching up his cane in the process. Sebastian smirked and followed the young man out the door of his study. But he was still waiting for his answer.

After dinner and upon completing the last of his small amount of paperwork, Ciel stood in front of the window in his bedroom, mismatched eyes focused on the plump full moon that hung in the darkened sky and his body shivering in the night's cold. The teen felt a sudden, soft warmth on his waist and turned to find Sebastian looking down at him. He could see the question so plainly in those red eyes – "Do you remember?"

_Yes,_ he thought. _I remember my moment of weakness, on this night one year ago. And the moment that you took me._ Ciel's lips parted; a half-hearted attempt to say something nearly slipped past his lips, but Sebastian shushed him. His deathly pale fingers held the young man's chin and he forced a kiss on those plump, peachy lips. Ciel reveled in it; for a little while, he wouldn't be the one in control. And he liked that.

Sebastian laid the petit man out on the four-poster bed and Ciel shivered at the feeling of that soft, fatal skin caressing the flesh that lay just under his nightshirt. The butler's pale lips met once again with those youthful, peachy ones and forced them apart, assaulting the interior of the younger man's mouth. Blue and purple eyes opened half-way to meet with the red irises that gazed back at him. Ciel remembered this flavour; Sebastian was distinctly bitter-tasting, as he would expect from an incarnation of evil. But the taste didn't matter to him, for those white lips worked so softly and seductively against his that he had not a care in the world besides _those lips and that tongue._ As their clothes came off, Sebastian's lips migrated to the side of Ciel's mouth, his jaw, his throat, his neck, and –_oh God_– his collar bone. He let a crisp moan escape from his throat as he shivered with the anticipation of what was to come.

This time, it was easier to let Sebastian in. Yes, he still cried out as the pain seized him and his hands still fisted into the bedspread and his knuckles still turned white as he twisted the cloth in his hands, but it wasn't _as_ painful. Not like the first time, at least. His fists unwound from the bedspread, and he instead clutched at Sebastian's back. On a whim, he raked his fingernails across the other's snowy skin, earning a soft hiss from the raven-haired man. Ciel smirked slightly; now he wasn't the only one who was experiencing pain. Their bodies intertwined in their desperation to touch each other, _ever inch of skin on their partner._ And when Ciel reached his climax, Sebastian, too, went over the edge upon hearing the younger man's moaning and heavy breathing.

They laid still, taking in each other's scent and the smell of sweat, tears and bodily fluid. Ciel licked his bottom lip; he had bitten it to distract himself and now blood had beaded up to the surface.

"Sebastian.." Those insanely innocent eyes caught the butler off-guard. Ciel brought his lips onto Sebastian's, his small hands stroking that mop of crow-coloured hair. It was short and sweet, this kiss; the blue-haired teen made sure of that. Sebastian, for once, was at a loss regarding the hidden meaning that lay beneath those delicate touches and gentle kisses that he receive. And why did he like receding them so much?

But Ciel knew – he knew _exactly_ why he touched the other man like that, why he kissed him and hugged him close. Sebastian untangled himself from the young man's limbs, leaving Ciel laying on the bed and watching his every move. "Sebastian?"

The man looked up from fastening his trousers, "Yes, my Lord?"

Ciel smiled wryly, grabbing for his nightclothes that lay at the end of the bed. "You just made love to me, yet still address me like that?"

"Is that bothersome to you? Regardless of our bedding habits, you are still my master and I, your butler." He heard a soft, mumbled reply and turned to face Ciel, who sat with his legs on either side of him and his nightshirt clutched against his chest. He looked very much like a child when he sat like that, Sebastian mused. "I'm sorry, my Lord, but I didn't catch that." The man continued to dress.

The teen fidgeted, readjusted himself on the bed, and softly spoke, his voice becoming more audible with every syllable: ".. nothing more?"

"Pardon?" The words that slipped from Ciel's mouth left the other man feeling confused, wondering what he could mean.

"I'm nothing more to you.. than your master a-and an occasional fuck buddy?" Ciel's voice had settled into a low growl, and he looked up at Sebastian with eyes that _begged_ to be told otherwise. When Sebastian didn't respond (the reason being that he was at a complete loss for words), Ciel's face contorted into something that resembled anger, but more-so looked like.. anguish. He slipped his nightshirt on and pulled it tightly around himself, as he had no time to button it.

"Get out," Ciel hissed, jabbing his index finger toward his bedroom door. He saw Sebastian's lips twitch, and before the raven-haired man could reply, Ciel spoke once again, "That was an order! _Get the hell out of my room! Now!_" The blue-haired teen's voice broke into pieces as he tried in vain to remain composed, and Sebastian took his leave without another glance in Ciel's direction.

The young man sank down onto his bedroom floor, his body trembling with tears that he refused to cry. "I let my guard down. I developed feelings for him, and he feels nothing for me. This is what I deserve for being so _stupid,_" Ciel berated himself, hitting his fist against the solid wood of his bedframe.

Little did the boy know that, while Sebastian had left the room as he had been ordered, he remained outside the door, his palm resting against the doorframe. He was baffled; how could he have just frozen up like that? Sebastian was known for always being calm and composed, so why had his heart stuttered at Ciel's words? This, he thought, was a question for another day. Despite being a demon, he inhabited a human body and thus required sleep. But as he turned to leave, he could hear the sound of soft sniffles and hiccups emanating from the room. As much as he wished to re-enter the room and take the undoubtedly distressed and crying boy into his arms, he knew he would very likely only make things worse. So, he retired for the night.

The following morning, after getting dressed, re-cooking breakfast (for Bard had burnt that unfortunate meal to a crisp), Sebastian hesitantly raised his hand and went to turn the doorknob to Ciel's room.

_Locked?_ The boy had actually locked him out of the room? Of course, he could unlock the door if he really wanted to, but Ciel would only order him to leave again.

The blue-haired boy heard the soft rattle of the doorknob as it was turned without any luck, and picked himself up off the floor. He had fallen asleep there, after an exhausting amount of time crying and had slept for a little under an hour, then woken up and had remained awake throughout the rest of the early morning. "Go away," Ciel called half-heartedly, knowing that it could only be his butler who had come to wake him.

"My Lord, please open the door."

"Just leave me be." His voice was hoarse from hours of sobbing.

"Master, I must implore you to unlock this door, otherwise I'll do it myself."

"You'll do no such thing, Sebastian," he snapped venomously.

The butler continued his attempts to persuade the young man, but to no avail. Sebastian soon grew weary of this, and, after checking to make sure that no one else was anywhere in the vicinity, he leaned his forehead against the door. "Ciel.. Ciel, please unlock the door."

Said boy was shocked, to say the least, when he heard the butler utter his name. His brows furrowed, and he heard his name called once again. Sebastian seemed to have finally gotten through to him, for the blue-haired youth smoothed out his wrinkled nightshirt and turned the latch. The door swung open, revealing a somewhat baffled black-clad man. He obviously hadn't expected that to work. "Come in," Ciel murmured, trying to keep his gaze on anything but the butler. Sebastian shut the door behind himself, and approached the younger man.

"Let me help you get dressed," and as he reached for the first button on the garment, his hand was swatted away with a force that surprised even him.

"Don't touch me," Ciel hissed, folding his arms around himself and turning away.

"Do not be foolish. You look a mess; you need to get dressed and eat something." Ciel whirled around, his teeth clenched and his eyes a-light with rage.

"How can you act like that? How can you act as if nothing happened?!" the boy cried, his eyes watering. "How could you do that to me? How could you, Sebastian? How could you!" He fought against the thin, unnaturally strong arms that pulled him against the other's body. Ciel's fists beat against Sebastian's chest, gradually growing weaker in force until the teen finally broke down and grasped at the fabric of the man's shirt like a lifeline. "I love you; I have since I was fifteen. And I thought you loved me, too. But I was wrong, wasn't I? You just slept with me for the fun of it, didn't you? You–"

"I did no such thing," Sebastian interrupted, his voice soothing in pitch. "You brought those words upon me so suddenly, Ciel. You honestly expected me to reciprocate your feelings on the spot? I am a demon, who has no feelings – well, who is not supposed to. But, I beg to differ. I took you the first time because I harbored feelings for you, and did so the second time because I _do_ love you."

"You're only telling me what I want to hear," Ciel hissed. As suspicious as he tried to remain toward Sebastian's words, his eyes had softened.

"I'm not. Don't you know that I cannot lie to you?" Sebastian's lips twitched into a small smile as a light blush spread across the teen's face. Ciel wasted no time in pulling his lover down to his level, and kissed the man with great force. Sebastian pulled off his gloves, and then held the boy's face within his hands, his snowy flesh clashing with and yet accenting the rosy skin of his master. Ciel eagerly pushed himself against Sebastian, and the demon smirked into the tongue-tangled kiss. The door's latch clicked to the locked position at a swift flick of Sebastian's finger, and he then refocused his attention on the feeling of Ciel's desperate fingers unfastening his pants.

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A/N: I hope you all liked it! I had a lot of fun writing this. Ciel is such an uke! x333 Thanks for reading, and please drop me a review to tell me what you thought of it.


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